For anyone who ever wished they could own a pet chocobo. For anyone who ever tried to cast fire to cook a steak. For anyone who ever sat for hours trying to figure out how to "junction" an apple to themselves. This is for us.
1. I can do whatever I want, as long as I speak to a Moogle first.
2. I can walk into any house with an unlocked door and take anything that I find.
3. Anyone I meet who has spikey hair or is named after a weather phenomenon is probably one of the coolest people I'll ever meet.
4. The scarier the music, the more fun the dungeon.
5. The most reliable source of income is to go out into a field and kill any wildlife that attacks me. Animals and all other creatures carry varying amounts of cash and occasionally some mystical healing items.
6. My life will not reach completion until I have met a man named Cid.
7. Silver haired people dressed in black leather are not your friends, and never go to any of their family reunions.
8. No matter how small a man is he can carry an extremely oversized weapon.
9. I tremble in awe every time i see a horse-sized chicken that shouts, "Kweh!"
10. I wear a ribbon not to support any interest groups, but so that I never have to worry about illness.
11. I can take multiple hits from anything at all without a scratch, as long as my HP doesn't hit 0.
12. I can cheat death as long as I have a phoenix down.
13. Mimes are the most dangerous people of all!
14. Frogs look enough like Tonberrys to make me run from them in fear.
15. Don't hit me too much or I'll limit break you back to the Middle Ages.
16. Potions are a total waste of money, especially if I have a white mage.
17. Even an imitation sword can still f*%$ me up.
18. I can only travel a significant distance with two or three other people at a time.
19. No matter how large or small my enemies, they will always stand still and let me hit them back.
20. I may be the only hope an entire civilization has to fend off certain annihiliation, but the shop owner still won't sell me jack unless I pay full price.
21. Save points are everywhere until I actually need one.
22. There is always an airship SOMEWHERE. If I can't find it, I'm not looking hard enough.
23. Even with a crucial deadline fast approaching, I can still have a couple of naps and rest along the way without the world going to crap just yet.
24. That which does not kill me gives me tons of experience.
25. Playing retarded card games for hour after painstaiking hour can actually get me some pretty sweet stuff.
26. I cannot take more then 10-15 steps outside of a city without getting jumped by random animals that have never even seen me before.
27. Once I decide on a job, there is no reason to change my clothes until I get another one.
28. The more menacing a boss looks, the greater the chance that he or she won't actually stay dead.
29. Never leave home without my sword.
30. I really should be selective on what I choose to devour.
31. Once I kill one thing it's best to immediately kill several more just like it.
32. If I talk to someone over and over again, they will always say the same thing until some major event happens.
33. My daily exercise is doing the same victory pose a million times.
34. Any chicks in eye patches carrying swords are serious trouble.
35. All the "good items" I've been saving thus far will be completely useless by the time I change disks.
36. If I get involved in a fight and the music is more dramatic than anything I've heard thus far, I know I'm up against something extremely strong, and the end of my journey is near.
37. If I bump into ultima or omega weapon on my way to the shop or the bus stop, it's probably best to leave them be.
38. People with five letter names are always important.
39. No matter how badly I kicked his ass, my enemy will not be truly defeated until he or she has mutated into some ridiculously large beast.
40. Whenever I leave a city, I become huge and, in most cases, larger than the city.
41. I can only carry one sphere at a time, despite my pockets and my other hand.
42. I can only go down roads marked on my mini map.
43. My wallet isn't large enough to carry $1,000,000,000; only $999,999,999.
44. I can carry as much stuff as I want, but never more than 99 of the same item (it's taboo).
45. Mail is delivered throughout the world, known and unknown, by Mogs, kupo.
46. I can defeat a T-Rex in hand to hand combat.
47. It is okay to gloat with a celebratory dance after defeating a dog or rat in mortal combat.
48. Walking up to someone on the street without saying a word opens the door for any number of conversations, ranging from random information about the town's history to being sent on a dangerous mission.
49. Thievery is a legitimate occupation and is most effective when someone is trying to kill you.
50. When you die you either go to the Lifestream, become a fiend, or get sent to the Far Plane, depending on your religion.
51. If I want to heal a hurt friend all I have to do is throw a potion above my head and he or she will be all better.
52. In general, women have higher intelligence then guys, but they usually can't do a lick of damage in hand-to-hand combat, with the exception of those with biker gloves in tank tops.
53. When I try to swear, wierd jiberish comes out unless I am a large black man with a gun for a hand.
54. I always talk to strangers. They might join my party or give me stuff.
55. No matter what, I can never use any other kinds of weapons other than the one I now have.
56. I'm going to count backwards from sixty, and when I reach zero, you will be dead.
